i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Your penis caused this!
So apparently I’m into choking now
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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