I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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