I think my vagina is haunted
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
