A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
