thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
