why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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