Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
