we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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