Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
