a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
