grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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