During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
