my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
