you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
