He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
So vagazzling was a success
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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