If i come over, it means nothing
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
