when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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