is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
