To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
