if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
