I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize