No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
