We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
