I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize