Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
