i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
