OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
