He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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