you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
