singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
