I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize