I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Ketchup is God's man juice
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
