i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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