nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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