She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Randomize
