For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
