Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
