I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
