so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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