I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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