I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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