Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
