I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
