If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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