I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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