Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
