i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
