just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
