in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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