Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
