you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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