3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Of course I have a pirate flag
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize