I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
