this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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