I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dick very happy bro
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
