Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize