It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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