you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
