God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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